I am thankful for the opportunities the Universe presents me to practice patience, express unconditional love, and train my own ego.
Stub my toe? “Thank you Universe.”
Didn’t qualify for Financial Aid? “Thank you Universe.”
Came into work greeted by a shit storm? “Thank you Universe.”
Boy broke my heart? “Thank you Universe.”
Those are mild examples, but you get the idea.
This will sound cliche, but life is too short to spend time dwelling in a negative space, don’t expend energy stressing about the bullshit that won’t matter when you reach the end of your life. There are lessons to be learned in everything around us, the Universe has no fixed agenda.
Sure, I preach about love and ego and so on, but I struggle with these concepts like anyone else. When my pride gets hurt, I know it’s my ego that’s hurting. When I’m tempted to react in the same old way, sometimes I fall into temptation and react before I think. I’m still searching for the definition of love, when in all reality love is different for each person.
What I do know is I am an empath and feel everything around me. I am constantly overwhelmed with emotion and the weight of the world. I wear my heart on my sleeve and love hard. I am vulnerable. I am human. Even when I hurt, I refuse to believe in the intrinsic selfishness of people, even though there is plenty of evidence supporting this thought.
Eat the pain. Emanate love.
The truth is, everyone will hurt you, even the ones you love most. Does that make them a good or a bad person? I don’t believe in black or white. I recently had an experience that tested both my ego and my definition of love. I will admit, I reacted poorly, but alas, another lesson from the Universe. “Thank you Universe.” In retrospect I can think of a million different ways I could have reacted, but my initial reaction was confusion and disappointment.
From that state I quickly escalated to anger and made some rash decisions. Do I regret them? No. What’s the point of regret? Did I learn my lesson? Yeah… calm the fuck down. Did I die? No, then shut the hell up and move on, chuck it in the fuck it bucket and scoot.
By reacting the way I did, I was not practicing love, which bothered me because I’ve been studying love, sexuality, ego, and so on for the past few months. I’m no longer angry. I’ve learned the hard way that holding onto anger and hate is poison.
So what is the lesson learned? Think before I react. Guard my heart. Learn to know the difference between helping someone in need, or enabling someone to use me for my resources, including my time and energy.
In hindsight, I also learned that I am capable of love. I was also surrounded with hope, optimism, and positivity. When you’ve seen the shit I’ve seen, and done the things I’ve done, sometimes a young mind is a breathe of fresh air, a look at the world through rose tinted glasses. I learned to appreciate the small things and to take a deep breathe. I was inspired to study love and the ego and launched into a journey of exploring my own consciousness. I also learned that age and life experience DO matter. However, the positive impact far outweighed any damage to my pride and ego.
So, “Thank you Universe, for the opportunity to challenge myself, to improve, to exercise patience, and to move on when moving on is required. Thank you for the lessons learned, a new perspective, and personal insight. Thank you for the people in my life who practice unconditional love and who are an example to others. Thank you for everything I am interconnected with.”